The Dumbass Chronicles
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Dumbass Chronicles: Hanging out with Hollywood
By Jack Mandaville I’ve been around a lot of famous people for whatever reason—A-listers at the pinnacle of their careers. But to be honest with, I’ve only been star struck three...
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The Dumbass Chronicles: The Wild Boar
By RU Rob Spend any time in Europe and you will know that there is a shit-ton of wild pigs in the forests. As detailed in an earlier post: “Helfen Sie...
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What to do?
Editor’s Note: Some of you may know Six from her wildly popular Facebook page: Overly Sensitive Military Wives. Well, I have been courting, harassing, seducing, asking her to write for us...
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I’m A Damn Moron: The Freon Incident
By Jack Mandaville “I actually felt more comfortable when you and your brother were in Iraq, because at least I knew you two were being professional.” –Ski’s mother during a...
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The Dumbass Chronicles: Grin and Bear it!
By Leonard Benton When stationed in Alaska I learned a very valuable set of lessons when dealing with bears. Rule 1: Always travel in pairs. You cannot outrun the bear...
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The Dumbass Chronicles: The Belt Lift
By Kelly Crigger “Major Babyface thinks he can belt lift more than me.” It was an innocent enough statement, but one that completely belied my true intentions. “He’s smoking crack,”...
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The Dumbass Chronicles: Stuck
By SGT Awesome The year was twenty ought nine. I was an E-5 (not yet Sgt Awesome) and my National Guard Air Defense unit was preparing to deploy to Afghanistan....
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The Dumbass Chronicles – Sea Sick
By Scuba Steve When you’re a bullet proof E-2, there is nothing that you can’t do. Leadership needs to live up to you, not the other way around, right? In...
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The Dumbass Chronicles: Crazy Drill Sergeant
By RU Rob There are very few people who can’t recall some crazy story that happened during basic training. Usually they involve a sadistic Drill Sergeant who just seemed a little...
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The Dumbass Chronicles: Hobbling Around a Track for Cancer
By Ghengis Ron In 1999, back before I started looking like the love child of Margaret Cho and Roy “Big Country” Nelson, I was suckered into running for a good...
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Deployment Dodging
By RU Contributor Solomon G As I powered down my laptop, I stared into the darkness and thought about what I just watched. The voices of the young warriors still echoed...
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Leftover Ribs
Only an Infantryman with the stomach of a goat eats five-hour-old ribs in a bar while drinking vodka and then takes a bubble bath. But this time he paid for it....
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Ernie the Airborne Spider Monkey
Soldier's in the 1960's got away with WAAY more shenanigans than we do today. This story from a Vietnam Vet is both ridiculous and hilarious.
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The Dumbass Chronicles – The Trip Flare Incident
In a Ranger Up world, the instructions on a magnesium trip flare would say, "Do not light in front of friends for the purpose of entertainment," which wouldn't matter anyway since...
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The Dumbass Chronicles – The Most Dangerous Range Ever
A butterbar Lieutenant in charge of a multi-weapon, combined range in Korea was told, "don't bring back any ammo." This is how those "what NOT to do with live ammo" videos...
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The Dumbass Chronicles – Leave Nick Alone
by Tommy Batboy There’s an old saying that says everything happens in three’s. If that’s the case, douchebags of the world, please stay the hell away from Nick. You don’t want...
